In the movies, sex on a beach is always super hot. In real life? Not so romantic. (Sand? It gets everywhere.) But still, we wanted to know: Can it be done? If so — how best?
Luckily, we knew someone with all the answers: sexologist Shan Boodram. Below, her very specific (and wise, if we do say so) advice for how (and if) to pursue this bucket-list hook-up. Spoiler: yes — but carefully.
BIKINI: Adventurous hookups, especially ones in public spaces, can seem risky. How do you figure out if this is a risk you want to take? What are the upsides, the downsides? Do you think about the actual legality (or illegality) of it?
SHAN BOODRAM: I think the moral side is more important than the legal side. Being spotted by a police officer or security guard is usually just a flashlight warning and a bit of embarrassment. Being spotted by a minor, a family member or colleague — that could have much worse ramifications. So, I think you weigh the decision just like you do before having a very carb-heavy meal. Is this decision going to haunt me? Or, is there going to be some minor guilt that can be worked off with some cardio?
BIKINI: How can you get a hesitant partner to try something new – in this case, on the beach?
SB: Although it's common wording, I think "convincing" someone hesitant to try something new sexually is the wrong approach. You can have a discussion, share ideas, fears, and hopes and invite them to do the same, but ultimately, it's only going to be positive if the person genuinely wants to do it as well. If they are hesitant, then the answer is no, until they are not. I know plenty of people who have got on board the threesome train after prodding from their partner, only for it to turn sour just before, during, after, or later, when the partner who initiated says, "That was fun! Let's do it again!" Good sex is a total expression of self. Even the pleasing and compromise elements need to fit that criteria.
BIKINI: Let’s talk beach hookups – how can a couple prepare for a soirée in the sand? What items should they bring?
SB: Bring a towel. Sand. Gets. Everywhere. Even if you choose a cabana, bring a towel. Bring some fresh water to clean up afterwards — there's a lot of new bacteria being introduced, so it's imperative to wipe down after. Also, bring clothes that can be taken off and put on rather quickly.
BIKINI: Besides cabanas, what other spots work to keep couples concealed, yet still adventurous?
SB: In the water, under a beach blanket, behind a tree or beach house, in a hot tub where the bubbles are blasting — it's hide-and-seek. really. And half the fun of the game is deciding where you want to hide to begin with.
BIKINI: What are some beach-safe positions, both on the sand and in the water? How can couples stay physically safe in this environment?
SB: On land, whoever has to be on the bottom is taking one for the team. Standing works, but it’s rarely anyone’s favorite position. I’d say missionary or cowgirl, but slow — not intense and pounding. In the water, it’s time to get lifted! Now is your chance to be held up by one arm, like in a movie. Either way, please wipe up after.
BIKINI: How can a couple prime themselves for the best experience – specifically, how to choose a beach or spot, so that it’s exciting, but also respectful of the people walking by?
You know what's kind of hot? "Hey, I think those people over there might be getting freaky!" Not hot: "Oh my God, look at those two going at it as if no one can see!" Choose a place where it isn't totally outside of that location's culture to be getting physical and choose discreet over dangerous.
BIKINI: Are there any guidelines our readers should follow when selecting swimwear to wear for a beach hookup? Are there certain features to consider?
A one-piece — open the bottom like a trapdoor and enjoy fully-clothed and frictionless fun.
Stay tuned for our next installment with Shan — a guide to selecting swimwear for sex on the beach.
For more tips on love and relationships, visit Shan's YouTube channel: